BLACK TAX: THE UNSPOKEN INVOICE FOR SUCCESS
BLACK TAX: THE UNSPOKEN INVOICE FOR SUCCESS
Let me tell you about my cousin Chinedu. Last year, he called me and said, “Aunty Chi, I need a laptop for my studies. You’re now a ‘big woman’ in America, abi?” I said, “Chinedu, you’re 34. You’ve been ‘studying’ for 15 years. What exactly are you studying, how to avoid work?”
Oh, child, we’ve all had a Chinedu and this is what we Nigerians call “black tax”, the unspoken invoice for success. My father said it plainly: “When you rise, you lift the clan.” But sometimes the clan sits on your head like a stubborn hen!
The Algebra of Guilt
Guilt is a heavy currency. When I sent money home, part of me whispered, “What if they starve?” Another part hissed, “What if you do?”
Exactly! Last month, my auntie called: “Nne, your cousin Nkechi is getting married. We need ₦500k for aso-ebi. You’re the first daughter and it’s your duty.” I said, “Aunty, I’m also the first daughter of my bank account, and she’s crying!”
Guilt is a ghost. You feed it, it grows. Starve it, it haunts. The trick is to dance with it, not let it lead.
But how do you say “no” without becoming the wicked witch of the family?
Honey, “no” is a complete sentence. But wrap it in love, like jollof rice in banana leaves. I tried that! My uncle wanted me to build him a house. I said, “Let me send you cement.” He said, “Cement without labor is dust.” I said, “Dust built the pyramids!”
Allocate a % of your income to family. When they ask for more, remember that you are , “A bank with limited withdrawals.”
Save for yourself first. It is only someone who is well that can donate blood.
Yes! Last year, I told my family, “I will support, but I will not suffocate.”
And that’s the lesson, my darling. Love doesn’t mean losing yourself.
P:S - I had a YOUTUBE LIVE SESSION on this and I think it is a must-watch. Here is the link
https://youtube.com/live/hR5RO0wHLnY