HOW TO ALLOW LONELINESS TEACH YOU ABOUT YOURSELF.
You’ve felt it. That hollow ache in your chest when you scroll through Instagram and see friends laughing at a party you weren’t invited to. The silence of a Sunday afternoon that stretches too long. The way you tell yourself, “I’m fine alone,” while secretly wondering if anyone would notice if you vanished.
We spend our lives running from loneliness. Scrolling, swiping, stuffing our calendars, and clinging to hollow connections. But what if the very thing we fear most is the key to unlocking our deepest selves?
Loneliness isn’t just an ache. It’s a mirror.
It doesn’t lie. When the noise fades and the distractions stop working, loneliness holds up a mirror and says: “Look. This is who you are when no one’s watching.”
What do you see?
A person who needs constant validation to feel worthy?
A heart that’s forgotten how to be its own best friend?
Or maybe, a soul craving depth over distraction?
Loneliness strips away the performance. It asks: “Who are you when no one’s applauding?”
Loneliness screams when we’ve outgrown the people, habits, or versions of ourselves we’ve been clinging to. It’s not here to punish you, it’s here to wake you up.
What Loneliness Teaches (If You Listen)
Your Relationships Are Built on Sand or Stone
Loneliness reveals who sticks around when you’re not “fun,” when you’re messy, when you have nothing to offer but your presence. It weeds out the transactional and leaves only the true.
You’ve Been Outsourcing Your Worth
How many times have you muted your loneliness with followers, flings, or frantic busyness? Loneliness whispers: “You are enough, even when no one’s looking.”
Your Cravings Are Clues
That gnawing void? It’s not just a lack of people, it’s a lack of purpose. Loneliness redirects you to passions buried under people-pleasing.
You’ve Forgotten How to Be Human
We’re the most connected generation in history, yet the loneliest. Loneliness screams: “Put down the screen. Go touch grass. Talk to a stranger. Cry without tweeting it.”
How to Sit With Loneliness (Without Losing Your Mind)
Stop pathologizing it. Loneliness isn’t a flaw, it’s data. What is it telling you about your boundaries, your values, your untended wounds?
Ask it questions: “What do I need to feel whole without external noise?”
Create rituals: Morning walks. Journaling. Cooking a meal just for you. Prove to yourself that solitude ≠ abandonment.
Seek depth, not dopamine: Replace scrolling with a hobby that makes time dissolve. Loneliness hates presence.
The happiest people aren’t those who’ve never been lonely, they’re the ones who let loneliness dismantle them, then rebuild something real.
Why This Hurts (And Why It’s Worth It)
Loneliness strips away the masks we wear for the world. It’s raw. It’s real. It’s where you meet the parts of yourself you’ve abandoned. The creative child, the wounded teenager, the unapologetic dreamer.
The magic happens when you stop seeing loneliness as an enemy and start treating it as a mentor.
The next time loneliness knocks, don’t slam the door. Invite it in. Offer it tea. Ask: “What are you here to show me?”
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#TheEmotionsDoctor
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Thanks so much for this deep piece. Deeply enriched by it.