How To Find Someone Who Truly Roots For You...
Hello, Fluffy Life,
I had a major presentation I wasn't feeling up to a while ago.
It was one of the mornings when I was functioning below my optimal zone.
I was actually tired of the series of training, proposal requests, and presentation.
I was tired of work.
I needed a distraction and an hour of unadulterated fun with a tribe member will suffice.
So I made an unfit stop at an older friend’s office. I really shouldn't be calling her my friend because she is about twenty years older than me but she calls me her friend, so I have accepted the #20yearchallenge.
The security executive at her office inquired if I had a prior appointment, I said yes and gave him my business card to show her.
He goes in and steps out in minutes to say he has been instructed to escort me in.
I was relieved and humbled because I know how highly engaged she is. She is actually the head of school of one of the top two schools in Lagos, Nigeria so you will understand how precious this particular gesture meant to me.
We chatted, laughed recklessly, and gisted for about an hour before I took my leave. It was the energy I needed for the kill.
I needed an adrenalin flush. I needed a pure high. I stepped out of her office ready to take on the world and of course, I slayed the presentation with grace and grit.
On my way back, I was grateful for the blessing of friendship.
What if she had refused to see me just because I showed up unannounced? She was also unaware of the yearnings of my soul, but she was there.
My friend was there when I needed strength for the journey.
Friendship is all about availability or how can you love when you are not there?
When you love someone, the best thing you can offer him/her is your presence because to love means to be recognized as existing and almost everyone expresses and receive love through these five languages.
Time and attention, acts of service, words of affirmation, physical touch, gifts.
Here is how to find your friends.
The first type of friendship is NATURAL friendship. Layered in five ingredients. Honesty. Loyalty. Sacrifice. Vulnerability. Mutual respect. You may not have more than 3 people in your corner who offer you this. So when you find them, preserve them.
The second type of friendship is the COERCED friendship. This is exclusive of the above 5 ingredients in the natural section. You love people but will not sacrifice or be vulnerable to them. It's a comfort zone kind of love.
The third is POLITICAL friendship. These humans are with you for what you represent. What they can get not who you are. So it's a silent trade and barter deal. Once the honeycomb is dry. They move on.
The final one is the PRETENTIOUS friendship. This type of friendship is the deadliest where humans pretend to be who they are not. I once had this with someone I called my friend but who kept on stabbing me. She said she hated me because according to her “You are everything I want to be but I will never be”.
95% of the people you will meet in life will fall in the last three sections. Coerced, political, and pretentious.
Here is how To Find Someone Who Truly Roots For You...