HOW YOU CAN LOSE YOUR VOICE IN A DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY.
Losing your voice in a dysfunctional family can happen as a result of various factors within the family dynamic. Here are some ways you might lose your voice in such a family:
Invalidation: In a dysfunctional family, individuals' thoughts, feelings, and opinions may be consistently invalidated or dismissed. Over time, this can lead to a sense of worthlessness and self-doubt, causing individuals to stop expressing themselves. The unconscious rule, "Don't feel, don't talk, don't trust" binds everyone.
Fear of Repercussions: In an environment where conflict, criticism, or punishment is common, individuals may learn to suppress their voices out of fear of negative consequences like angry outbursts. They may avoid expressing themselves to avoid conflict or to protect themselves from further harm.
Control and Manipulation: In some dysfunctional families, certain members may exert control and manipulate others to maintain power and dominance. This can involve gaslighting, emotional manipulation, shame, blame, or coercion, which can cause individuals to doubt their own perceptions, and conform to the norm.
Enmeshment: Enmeshment occurs when family members are overly involved in each other's lives and boundaries are blurred. In such families, individuals may struggle to assert their own identities and perspectives, leading to a loss of voice and autonomy.
Scapegoating or Blame: In dysfunctional families, individuals may be unfairly blamed or scapegoated for family problems or conflicts. This can lead to feelings of shame, guilt, and self-blame, causing individuals to withdraw and refrain from expressing themselves.
Cultural or Gender Norms: Cultural or gender norms within the family or society may also contribute to the loss of voice. In some cultures, for example, women may be socialized to be submissive and deferential, while men may be discouraged from showing vulnerability or emotion. First-born daughters may also have been parentified while first-born sons may have been raised to feel entitled.
Emotional Neglect: Emotional neglect occurs when individuals' emotional needs are consistently ignored or disregarded. In such families, individuals may learn to suppress their emotions and avoid expressing themselves to avoid further neglect. Speaking attracts punishment while silence and secrecy are rewarded.
It's important to note that the mantra "Don't feel, don't talk, don't trust" feels like a biding covenant in a dysfunctional family. Is your voice still silenced at home? or have you found your VOICE?
Are you speaking up for yourself in your personal and professional life? or are you still afraid to speak up or feel your feelings.
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