Navigating Relationships: How Intense Arguments & Miscommunication Affects Relationships
This might save your relationship…
Hey Fluffy Life,
I recently met with Victor who’s partner accused him of not listening when they had difficult emotions to express. His partner sat on their feelings, thinking Victor would refute or interrupt them if they shared. Eventually, there was an obvious fracture in their relationship. Victor began to feel that his partner was closed off, and that they didn’t feel like Victor created a safe space to share their feelings.
This resulted in disruptive and oftentimes very hurtful arguments that were always blown out of proportion. The disagreement could start over something small like not taking the trash out and they almost always ended up arguing over Victor not hearing his partner and understanding their point of view.
After having these hurtful experiences for 6+ months that never ended in mutual solutions, their relationship ended. Nothing is more tragic than when a meaningless argument ends a relationship we nurtured with much love and effort.
When meeting with Victor, I helped him identify the destructive patterns of intense arguments and thoughtless communication that didn’t allow him to preserve their sacred relationships.
Some of these destructive patterns included:
Interrupting your partner when they are speaking.
Assuming your partner knows how you feel all the time.
Communicating in harsh or, sometimes, verbally violent ways.
Not practicing active listening so that you hear what your partner is saying instead of thinking about how you’ll respond.
Using “should” statements when addressing things that bother you.
Not doing the work to heal your childhood and generational trauma while also ignoring how they impact your decisions in relationships.
If this story or the patterns above sound familiar, I urge you to grab a seat for my upcoming course - The Relationship Hut!
Together, we can work towards uncovering your emotional blockages and begin working towards the trauma that makes it difficult for you to have productive disagreements that strengthen your relationships.
~ The Emotions Doctor